In 1979 Nyamini and I were brought to a hotel at the Jl Raden Saleh in Jakarta to meet our new parents. I can't recall our first meeting but at that time it felt like she was my best friend. Nyamini was a bit older and she took care of me like a big sister.
I still remember the moment she showed me her special talent. She was able to bend her thumb flat onto her pulse. I myself had flexible fingers but I never tried this. She laughed and said something like 'it is easy. She walked up to me and started to do the same with my thumb. The only thing I remember is that it really, really hurt, and was immediately not a big fan. I did not feel the need to learn this talent but we did develop a strong connection since we were "in the same boat" and about to be adopted by Dutch parents.
Nyamini spoke Bahasa Indonesia and tried to teach me. My mother tongue was a different language and I was not yet able to speak Bahasa. She tried to teach me by using the memory cards, that my new parents had bought for us. She had been with 'mama Jane' for a long time and other parents who intended to adopt her, sent her back to the orphanage. She gave me the advice to be obedient to prevent being sent back. I listened carefully to her wisdom since she seemed to know more than I did.
One day when we had a group outing with our new parents. We were picked up by the driver of the orphanage and they drove us to the beautiful garden of Bogor. I remember being impressed by the large water lily leaves in the pond. For the occasion, I wore new red shoes, which were too small. I wanted to take them off, but the road was black and too hot to walk barefooted. I cried and reluctantly put my shoes on again.
Under a beautiful blossom tree, my new father wanted to take a picture of both of us. We picked a pink flower from the ground to put in our hair until we both noticed there were ants in the flowers. We started to giggle but my father manages to take the photo with the flowers in our hands.
On our way back we stopped for a break and both Nyamini and I sneaked up onto our new mothers to try and tickle them with blades of grass. We were being naughty but had so much fun doing so. I can't remember much more of our time at the hotel, since this is the moment that my fever started and I became seriously ill.
Nyamini was adopted by parents who lived in the north of the Netherlands. Unfortunately, after a couple of years, we lost contact. During my mental breakdown, I had so many questions about my adoption that in 2011 I felt the need to contact her, but I was not able to remember her last name. I had isolated myself and did not have any contact with my parents, so I was not able to ask them. I started to google: Nyamini is not really a common Dutch name, so I hoped I was able to track her down and type her name. On top my google search shows me the site "Yersinia’s Weblog I The follies of justice." it said an Indonesian nurse Nyamini was murdered in 1998 and a Surinamese student had confessed. Since I did not recognize her last name, I was not able to tell if this was her and I let it go.
Years later in 2018, after the episode of Zembla, I finally found the courage to contact my parents. Initially, they were not able to recall her last name but did remember the name of her Dutch brother. I was able to track him down and on his website, there was this message referring to his sister Nyamini who died in 1998 with her picture. I recognized my friend and realized this is the same girl I already tracked down in 2011. After contacting the brother and mother I received confirmation that it was the person I was looking for.
I was upset for days since I never expected this outcome and was hoping for a reunion. I had hoped to be able to talk to her about our common past and present struggles. I was hoping to get my 'big sister' back and to enjoy each other's company again. Unfortunately, we never got the chance.
I still feel sad and regret that we were not able to keep in contact. It felt like another door of my past got slammed in my face, with no option to find out the truth of my past. The one positive thing is that my parents got in contact again with Nyamini's mother and they both recognized the same struggles of their adopted daughters.