About Me
Spring 2018 I heard about a documentary on adoption fraud (Adoptiebedrog III) by the Dutch program maker "Zembla" in which my formal orphanage 'Kasih Bunda', was mentioned.
I always had a negative feeling towards the orphanage but was never exactly able to explain why. At that moment I was trying to claw myself out of a dark hole and waited a month before I found the courage to watch the episode. By the time I finished it I got so emotional that I had to call a friend to calm myself down because watching this episode became a turning point for me.
My name is Widya adopted in 1979 from Indonesia. According to my adoption papers, I was 4, the 3rd child of my parents and my father had died before I was adopted by a Dutch family. I have been grateful for the love of my Dutch family, but the struggle to adapt and understand what was going on has been a hard one.
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Being adopted had a huge impact on my life. I had memories of my time before my adoption and was never really able to understand how I ended up in an orphanage. I had always known that I had a mother. though after a while I was not able to remember her face, I do recall our close connection and travel from Jogjakarta to Metro and Jakarta.
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When I saw the episode of Zembla, my own story started to make more sense. A trip to the orphanage in 1991 had made me confused and I ended up in a down spiral and self-destruct modus. Nothing made sense anymore, though I was not able to explain it.
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Like many, public speaking is not my thing. I often feel the words don't come out the way I want. So I started writing. It helps me to explain a complicated story, not only to myself but also to others. A story which I would never have believed if I did not experienced it myself but the truth is slowly coming out.
My turning point gave me the courage to give it one more try to find my Indonesian mother. On June 15th, 2020, I launched a Twitter search to find her with the help of my friend Tazia Teresa, You can read my experiences of this search in my posts.
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There are many different kinds of adoption stories, positive and negative ones. This blog is not about who is right or wrong. This blog is about my past, my truth, my experiences and my choice to throw it out in the open....