The adopted one
About Me
The Adopted one is Widya Astuti Boerma. This website is for my biological mother whom I have been missing in my life since I was a little girl. I have been searching for her for decades. In 1979 I was adopted by Dutch parents from Indonesia and separated from my birth mother.
According to my adoption papers, I was four years old and the 3rd child of my parents, though in 1991 I discovered some of my papers had been falsified. I remember my parents, especially my mother, who cared for me. I loved her and can't remember that I was ever hungry when I was with her.
I have been grateful for the love of my Dutch family, but the struggle to adapt and understand what was going on has been a difficult one. Being adopted had a huge impact on my life. I had memories of my time before my adoption and was never really able to understand how I ended up in an orphanage followed by adoption to the Netherlands. I'd always known I had a mother and a father. I recall our close connection and travel from Jogjakarta to Metro and Jakarta.
In 2018, I heard about a documentary on adoption fraud (Adoptiebedrog III) by the Dutch program maker "Zembla" in which my formal orphanage 'Kasih Bunda', was mentioned. I had a negative feeling towards the orphanage but was never able to explain why. I was trying to claw myself out of a dark hole of depression and waited a month before I found the courage to watch the episode. When I finished it, I got so emotional that I had to call a friend to calm myself down because watching this episode became a turning point. Before, in 1991, a trip to the orphanage had me confused. I ended up in a downward spiral and self-destruct modus. Nothing of my adoption story made sense and did not match what I remembered. It was like a jigsaw puzzle in my head. Fortunately after seeing the Zembla documentary, bit by bit it started to make sense.
Like many, public speaking is not for me. The words often don't come out the way I want. So I started writing. It helps me to explain a complicated story, not only to myself but also to others. It is a story which I would never have believed if I had not experienced it myself. The truth is slowly coming out and the puzzle is starting to complete itself. Unfortunately, there are still quite a few gaps.
My turning point gave me the courage to give it one more try to find my Indonesian mother. On June 15th, 2020, I launched a Twitter search to search for her with the help of my friend Tazia Teresa. You can read my experiences on my Twitter post @widyastuti2020.
There are many different kinds of adoption stories, positive and negative ones. This blog is not about which side is right or wrong. This blog is about my past, my truth, my experiences and my choice to throw it out in the open....hoping to find my mum.