The adopted one
"Never let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present"
This website exists for one reason only: to find my biological mother, whom I have missed for as long as I can remember.
In 1979, I was adopted from Indonesia by Dutch parents and separated from my birth family. I was told I was four years old and the third child of my parents, but years later, I discovered my adoption papers had been falsified. What I do know is this: I remember my mother. I remember her care, her love, and the feeling of safety she gave me.
I am grateful for my Dutch family, yet being adopted left a deep mark on my life. I carried memories from before my adoption—memories that never matched the official story. I always knew I had a mother and a father. I remember our closeness and travelling together through Indonesia. For years, none of it made sense.
In 2018, everything shifted. A Dutch documentary on adoption fraud (Adoptiebedrog III) mentioned my former orphanage, Kasih Bunda. Watching it was painful, but it finally gave words to a feeling I had carried my entire life. The confusion, the depression, the broken pieces in my mind slowly began to connect. I am not a public speaker. Writing is how I survive, how I understand, how I tell the truth. My story is difficult, and parts of it are still missing, but it is real, and it's mine.
In June 2020, I found the courage to search again for my Indonesian mother. With the help of my friend Tazia Teresa, I began sharing my story on Twitter (@widyastuti2020), hoping it might reach her.
This blog is not about blame or judgment. It is about
My past
My truth
And my hope
that one day, my mother will find me too.
Widya Astuti Boerma
